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Is being liked a leadership strength?
You work hard and get good results from your team, yet the vibe of the office is not very positive and upbeat. You wish you had the kind of team that your colleague, Stacey, has. Her team seems to genuinely enjoy working together, raves about her style of managing,...
Are you truly listening?
“Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire and judgment – and, for a moment at least, existing for the other person.” ~Michael P. Nichols The other day I was 'listening' to my colleague. We were in the midst of a heated discussion, and it was her turn to...
Positivity can transform your leadership. Here’s how.
They say that to a carpenter, at times, everything is a nail. I recently completed a certification in Applied Positive Psychology, which may be why I now see how much we all need a bit more self-care, positivity, and resilience in our lives. We need these to lead...
Have you been knocked down? Get up.
"It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up." ~Vince Lombardi My client was discouraged. Honestly, when she told me what had happened, I was discouraged too. We'd worked together diligently to come up with a plan of action, and she'd followed our...
Conflict is good – five ways to make it even better!
From the moment we wake up, we can be – and often are – in conflict with others. With our family members over how the day will go, with team members about the best next step on a project, with our manager over how to implement a new process, with colleagues about...
You can laugh more
“A good time to laugh is anytime you can.” ~Linda Ellerbee I can be very intense. Ask anyone who knows me. I can get caught in the seriousness of a situation, the meaning of a moment, the dilemma of a debate. I can work very hard to find value in each encounter and...
You don’t always know what you don’t know
I love learning and the chance to build my knowledge and skills. Reading books and magazines, taking classes, attending seminars and conferences - all are ways to increase my knowledge and my competence. I know what I don't know (or need to know more about) and I go...
How to make criticism charming
"Anyone can be accurate and even profound, but it is hard work to make a criticism charming." ~H.L. Mencken If the primary goal of feedback is to help, and motivate, someone to change their behavior, it seems to me that the secondary goal of feedback is to make the...
Where are you derailing your effectiveness?
Recently on the way home from school my daughter recounted an incident where a classmate hit another student, and then said that it was a reflex to having her hair touched. My daughter shared that this "reflex" was out of her classmate's control and an unfortunate...
Know what’s required
“It’s not enough we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” ~Sir Winston Churchill I’ve mentioned in an earlier Thoughtful Minute when Maria, in The Sound of Music, sings that she needs to do better than her best. I’ve always found this an interesting...
How to get around the lies that block your leadership – and life
The other day I was asked what my “sweet spot” was in coaching. What I’m really known for and what I really love to do. (Luckily, I think they’re the same thing.) As more and more people know, I had a childhood that I had to, in many ways, survive. I no longer keep my...
Silence speaks volumes for leadership
“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in life has a purpose.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. I know that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a psychiatrist who studied death and dying. And yet, her words of wisdom here can apply to so...
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