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Values are meaningless – until you define them
Several years ago, I took a quick assessment, VIA Strengths (formerly known as the Values in Action Inventory). The assessment has you rate a set of statements to identify values that are most important to you. The values that rose to the top for me then were things...
It’s not your fault you misunderstand me, it’s mine
“It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.” ~Karl Popper “But I clearly told them what I needed from them,” my client said the other day. “I can’t believe they didn’t listen.” How often have you heard someone share something like this...
The Wells Fargo case shows why it’s imperative to ask the right questions
Most of our interactions with banks these days begins and ends at the ATM or our computer screen. So when we find a bank with great tellers and officers at the local branch, it's a wonderful thing. Such was the case with Wells Fargo. My husband and I developed a great...
You can laugh more
“A good time to laugh is anytime you can.” ~Linda Ellerbee I can be very intense. Ask anyone who knows me. I can get caught in the seriousness of a situation, the meaning of a moment, the dilemma of a debate. I can work very hard to find value in each encounter and...
Speak up – people want to hear what you have to say
In my coaching practice, I have worked with many clients who hear feedback from their boss, peers, and even their staff that they need to speak up more often. Almost always, these are leaders who are highly regarded and considered smart and technically proficient in...
Care for yourself as if your life depended on it
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” ~Audre Lorde Somewhere along the line, many of us have learned to put ourselves close to last, if not last. This can be especially true for women and people...
Five ways to make your email time more effective
It's been happening more and more. I get email responses from clients, from colleagues, from friends, and it's clear that they haven't actually read the email they're responding to. They don't answer the questions I've asked. They ask questions I've already answered....
How to make criticism charming
"Anyone can be accurate and even profound, but it is hard work to make a criticism charming." ~H.L. Mencken If the primary goal of feedback is to help, and motivate, someone to change their behavior, it seems to me that the secondary goal of feedback is to make the...
Avoiding the big mistake new leaders make
A friend recently shared a dilemma she was having at work. She has a new boss, a vice president hired from outside her organization, who is starting to stumble badly after barely a year in place. I asked her what she thought was getting in the way of his success and...
Impatience is a leadership skill
"If you genuinely want something, don't wait for it - teach yourself to be impatient." ~Gurbaksh Chahal The other day a colleague was telling me about something they wanted…really badly. They explained to me how much fun this type of work would be, and how much they...
Feeling dumped on? Here’s what to do
I spent a week at the beach with my extended family. Needless to say, it was great. Great weather. Great nature. Great company. Great times. Except for the day when my nephew had to work for hours. And hours. He's not in the most junior position at his firm, but he's...
Being right isn’t always right
"Out beyond our ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is a field, I'll meet you there." ~Rumi My country seems divided between right and wrong, although each side thinks it's right and therefore the other side is wrong. Everyone surely can't be right about that....
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