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Why stealing credit is never a good idea
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." ~Harry S. Truman "I can't believe my boss took credit for my ideas," my client said to me the other day during a coaching session. "She asked me for my thoughts, debated my suggestions,...
Five tips to navigate the currents of conflict
It was not the first time my son said "No" to my "Yes" that day. It felt like the umpteenth, even if it was maybe only the third. I felt like I was slogging through sludge to get anywhere with him, to get anything done. And so I stopped. "I give up," I said. "This...
Fill yourself up so you can lead and live
"You can’t be a resource for others, unless you nourish yourself." ~Alexandra Stoddard We hear it every time we get on a plane. “Put your own oxygen mask on first.” We hear it so often, that we might not really pay attention to what it means or why they say that to...
Someone on your team made a mistake. Now what?
Early in my career I was a company newsletter editor. I managed a small team of writers, oversaw design and layout, and worked with a printer to produce and distribute the weekly publication to over 150,000 employees. (This was back in the day when people actually got...
Where are you choosing to be miserable?
“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” ~Cynthia Nelms This is one of my favorite sayings. Each time I read it I stop and smile. I think of all the time and energy I can waste being miserable and dissatisfied…and remember it’s always...
Feeling misunderstood? Offer others a “User’s Guide” to you.
As a young manager, I had the opportunity to attend an MBTI® workshop with my director and my peers. I had never done a self-assessment like that, and I was blown away by the spot-on narrative about my preferences and behaviors. The experience was self-affirming and...
The Three Things method to a better day
"Not having the best situation but seeing the best in your situation is the key to happiness." ~Marie Forleo We are often waiting for things to get better. A better boss. A better team. A better project. A better relationship with (fill in the blank). A better...
Why a pink flamingo is an essential leadership tool
I was on my side porch the other day, chilling, enjoying the breeze, and doing a bit of writing for work, when I looked through the trees over to my neighbor's yard and saw a huge pink flamingo. And I mean huge. Now I probably should clarify that through the trees was...
The lies we tell ourselves and how they hurt us
"The greatest happiness is to know the source of your unhappiness." ~Fyodor Dostoyevski I spent the weekend with dear friends. Dear friends whom I've known for a long, long time. As always, when we get together, there was laughter, conversation, food, wine, a-ha...
Are you getting honest feedback?
It's said that the only way to truly grow as a leader is to have access to candid feedback about what you are doing well in leadership and where you need to improve. There are certainly processes that have been established in many organizations to get some of that –...
Glory in falling: Celebrating our ability to rise again
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Nelson Mandela We have written many times about failing. About how when something goes wrong and we “fail,” we’re not a failure. About failing forward to learn from what’s...
Seven steps to take when new hires miss the mark
It’s never easy when the person you recently hired doesn’t live up to the potential and promise you saw during the hiring process. You imagined them fitting in seamlessly with your team and quickly leveraging their skills and experiences to excel in their role. Fast...
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