“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”
~Audre Lorde
You know that feeling of walking out of a meeting wishing you’d spoken up about a project that you didn’t think would work or you thought was misguided or wrong. Or when a colleague said something that didn’t sit right with you and you held your tongue and let it slide. Or when someone stepped in to speak over your idea (or the idea of someone else on your team) and you let them.
The sinking feeling of not wanting to speak up and “make waves” and the sinking feeling of not having spoken up when the moment was there.
As humans we’re driven by the need to minimize threats and to maximize rewards, and speaking up and out can often feel threatening – especially in situations where you feel you have less power or you routinely don’t feel listened to. Our brains quickly kick in to keep us quiet, in order to keep us safe.
But that safety is short-term. We may be ignoring or denying the long-term costs. I always tell my clients that only they know if speaking up in the moment is the best thing for them, for the work, for their team. But sometimes that fear of reaction or retribution keeps us from doing what is best, or at least having our viewpoints heard.
Often our fear of speaking our truth and sharing our perspective keeps us silent, and that learned silence, as Audre Lorde said, can be even scarier. And that is a powerful thing to remember when we’re deciding whether or not to speak up.
When have you spoken up when you were afraid to and how did you do that?
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If you enjoyed this post, you can read more like it in our book, The Power of Thoughtful Leadership: 101 Minutes To Being the Leader You Want To Be, available on Amazon.
If you want to face the fear and speak up more, contact Robyn at rmcleod@chatsworthconsulting.com.
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