“The instant I fully accept one of life’s waves, I shift away from worry and open up to creativity and possibility.”
~Andrea Gibson
A client was telling me about a tough situation they were facing. Their boss had decided, with no input from my client, to simply shift people and responsibilities on their team, including my client’s responsibilities. My client was understandably angry and frustrated and pretty much shut down.
We talked through everything, over a few sessions. I let my client vent for a while. And then for a while more. Because every time we tried to shift our conversation to how my client would respond and what they would do, we got pulled down again into the understandable venting and underlying fear of what would happen next.
Eventually though, I asked my client a tough question. “In some ways, it is what it is,” I said. “And no matter how much we know it’s wrong and not fair, what if staying with that is keeping you from finding out what you want for yourself, what you want to do, and how you will do it?”
For some reason my client could hear that at that point. They were able to accept what felt like a wrong, unfair situation, which seemed to free them to brainstorm what lemonade they wanted to make of these lemons that they’d been dealt.
Life continues to come at us at times. The project we think is going smoothly…is not. The relationship we think is going smoothly…is not. The tough conversation we had to have that we thought would go smoothly…did not. The situation we’re facing seems downright wrong and unfair and too much to handle.
The waves keep coming. And we generally keep trying to manage them or to manage ourselves within them. To have some sort of control over what happens and how it happens. We often fight against the waves and “what is” before we find a way to move with it.
Wanting, and trying, to have an impact on the things that matter is important, but I’ve also found that the more we resist or fight against what is or how things are going, the tougher they often get. And the less we have access to the parts of our brain that can help us find a creative outcome or way through.
When we accept what is – not accepting that it’s right or okay, but just that it is – we free ourselves to, as Andrea Gibson writes, open up to creativity and possibility. To find another way through and potentially out of what’s wrong. We calm our worrying brain and give it space and power to find another path.
What has happened when you’ve accepted life’s waves as they are?
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If you enjoyed this post, you can read more like it in our book, The Power of Thoughtful Leadership: 101 Minutes To Being the Leader You Want To Be, available on Amazon.
For support in accepting and then creatively brainstorming, contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.
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