“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strengths.”
~Corrie ten Boom
Our brains have this faulty belief that we are better prepared for whatever may happen when we have thought it through carefully. Very carefully.
When we have, in fact, worried about it.
However, the opposite is often true.
We may think that thinking through and worrying may ready us to handle what may come. We may assume that this gives us options and planned responses for whatever we may need on hand when things hit the fan.
The reality is that what we worry about often doesn’t come to pass or it comes to pass in a way we didn’t imagine, and we’ve wasted our precious time uselessly worrying.
We’ve robbed our today of its strengths.
I’ve seen clients spend time worrying about what their boss would think about their presentation, when they could have been brainstorming new ideas for their team (or taking a much-needed walk or nap). I’ve witnessed friends planning, replanning, and re-replanning their response to their partner’s anticipated blowup in an upcoming conversation, only to (thankfully) have the dreaded conversation go well. Instead my friend could have been planning a vacation or engaging in a fun activity. I’ve noticed my own tendency to worry about my health, my relationships, my work, etc., and I promise you, my time would have been much better used with a walk or a nap or something more creative and fruitful.
We empty today of our strengths with our negative worry about tomorrow. We can choose not to.
How have you managed to not worry? What works for you?
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Hello.
Very interesting article.
I am worrying a lot…with high anxiety results…
I understand your point above, but on the other hand, I always think that it is positive & crucial to be prepared to face better the …unexpected (Programming, Planning, set Risks and alternative scenarios…).
What’s your opinion and furthermore, are there any available mind techniques to gain balance?
Thanks in advance for your opinion/answer.
Dimitris Ioannidis – Business Consultant (Athens Greece)
Thank you Dimitris. While it is true that many of us feel safer when we’ve prepared, it is hard to find the balance of preparing and not worrying so much. And many of us tend to go further into the worrying side of things. It is evolutionary. Our brains evolved to have a negativity bias to protect us.
That said, again, many of us worry too much. Mindfulness and “retraining” our brains to focus on potential positive possibilities both can help. We are not suggesting that we put our heads in the sand and avoid everything negative, but that we work to have a more balanced view.
I highly suggest you look into Rick Hanson’s work on positive neuroplasticity and well being. (http://www.rickhanson.net/).
Thank you for your comment and your honesty.