“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
~Lao Tzu
A client sent me a beautiful end-of-year email thanking me. Perhaps needless to say, I saved it in my “feel good” folder (a practice I highly recommend, because now I can easily find it to reread it when that pick-me-up would feel good).
“You have helped me enormously this past year recognize the value I bring and the value I’m worth,” they wrote.
So many of us move through the world believing that we are lacking. That we’re not enough. We’re held back by our imposter syndrome and work tirelessly to either make up for our inadequacy or to keep other people from noticing it.
This is such a waste of time and energy, because often – usually in fact – we bring a great deal of value. We just can’t see it ourselves. And not seeing it holds us back from contributing most fully.
I spend a great deal of time with many of my clients helping them see and own their value, their worth, their contributions. Helping them see that there is, essentially, nothing lacking in them.
There are many ways to begin to rewire our brains to see all we have to offer, and, like with my client, it really pays off when we do. When we stop doubting ourselves, we stop holding ourselves back and can be more creative, engaged, and effective.
Three simple ways to shift your mindset about yourself are:
- Pay attention to the ideas you share in meetings and contributions you make to work, projects, etc. Be sure to write them down at the end of each day, or else you will miss them. Writing down your great ideas and contributions also combats our “negativity bias” – where we only notice what’s bad or what went wrong, rather than what’s good or what went right. The act of writing down the good shifts your brain to notice the good.
- Ask others for feedback about what you’re doing well and how it’s making a difference, and actually let that sink in.
- At the end of the day (or whenever works best for you), write down three things that went well and what you did to help make them happen. This gratitude exercise opens your awareness to possibilities and what’s working, and noting how you helped bring it to fruition increases your self-efficacy.
While self-awareness is hugely important, including self-awareness of our development areas, when we realize there is, essentially, nothing lacking in us, a world of possibilities opens up to us.
How have you learned to see the value you bring?
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If you enjoyed this post, you can read more like it in our book, The Power of Thoughtful Leadership: 101 Minutes To Being the Leader You Want To Be, available on Amazon.
For support in owning your value, contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.
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