“He who angers you, conquers you.”
~Elizabeth Kenny

I need this quote right now. Someone is getting under my skin…and I have to remember that I’m allowing them to. I have a choice. When I let someone anger me, I give my power away to them. I let them conquer me. I let them ruin my day (or at least my moment) and I certainly let them keep me from being my best self. I have to remember that I have a choice.

Sometimes it feels like I have every right to be angry. I know that what they did was “wrong.” That they misunderstood me. That they’re always misunderstanding me. Even if this isn’t true, it seems true when I get stuck in my anger. And again, that conquers me.

It brings out my black and white thinking. My always and never thinking. “She always does that.” “He never understands me.” My all or nothing thinking. I feel compelled to explain, or complain, or strike back. All this conquers me.

When I’m at my best I can step back. I can let the other person have their point of view and their needs – and I can let myself have mine. I can let them act as they act and say what they say, and I can choose how to respond. I can allow the anger, but not allow it to take me over. Not allow it to conquer me.

That’s not to say that I have to live with unacceptable behavior, or that I have to let people act in ways that upset me and just accept it. I do have the right to speak out and speak up – but I can find a way to acknowledge and allow the anger so that it passes through me. And I can find a way to interact with the person from a place of clarity and focusing on the best outcome, the best relationship. I can allow myself not to be overcome or conquered. I am remembering this now.

How do you keep yourself from being conquered?
Please leave a comment.

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For support in not being conquered, contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.

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