“Sometimes you have to be silent to be heard.”~Swiss Proverb
Have you ever been in a meeting where it seems like everyone is shouting…and no one is listening? Have you ever tried, and tried again, to explain yourself to someone, only to feel like there is no way they’ve heard you (or cared what you’ve said)? Have you known you had an excellent point – a way to make a process stronger, a concern about an issue that everyone else seems to be overlooking, frustration with a colleague (or loved one) that you can’t get out of your mind…or into their reality?
Sometimes the more we try to win over, explain, point out, or challenge, the less it seems like we’re getting our point across.
Sometimes you have to be silent to be heard.
Many of us feel the need to jump into action – or to holler about what we’re most concerned about – when we want to convince others of our essential viewpoint. But the louder we shout, the more others tune us out. The harder we try to convince, the more we convince others to disregard, or even avoid, us. The more we argue for our point of view, the more we seem to force others to adhere even more strongly to their own point of view.
Sometimes you have to be silent to be heard.
Silence can be difficult for some of us to practice, but our silence can invite others to step into the conversation more. When we give space to others to share their perspective and thoughts, when we ask questions out of curiosity and truly want to learn what others think and feel, when we leave room for others to tell us more, we build a stronger connection – and often, a shared understanding – with the people around us. This helps us be heard.
Sometimes you have to be silent to be heard.
How have you used silence to connect better with others?
Please leave a comment.
If you enjoyed this post, you can read more like it in our book, The Power of Thoughtful Leadership: 101 Minutes To Being the Leader You Want To Be, available on Amazon.
If you want to find ways to be more silent, contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.
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Right away I noticed that “silent” and “listen” have the exact same letters, just in a different order. Thanks for the insight. Loved the article!
Thank you, Karen
Good article. It’s like you draw attention to yourself, cause everyone is talking then they notice you haven’t been.
Hi Alan, Thank you for your comment. Very true!
I couldn’t agree more. This is true at home and at work. An old Jewish proverb says: “If he keeps silent, even a fool will be considered wise”.
Thank you for your comment, Ronnie. And thank you for sharing the proverb!