“Begin to listen to what you say. Say only what you want to become true for you.”~Louise Hay
The other day I was talking with a client, and my client was complaining about someone with whom he worked. “He’s such an idiot,” my client shared, over and over. “He just doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s such an idiot.”
As we talked over the next few minutes, my client continued to refer to his colleague as an idiot, and to point out everything this person didn’t know and couldn’t do right. Finally I had to stop him. “You have to stop calling him that,” I shared. “I don’t say it to his face,” he replied. “It doesn’t matter,” I told him. “If you keep calling him an idiot, you will only see him as an idiot – no matter what. You have to stop.”
We sometimes think our words have very little to no weight – but they matter. What we say, to ourselves or to others, about ourselves or about others, it all matters. When we express a belief, to ourselves or out loud to others, we reinforce that thought within us. When we tell ourselves that a project is too hard, or our boss is a jerk, or our team member hates us – all these things become more true to us. When we remind ourselves that we can succeed at a tough job or can successfully work through a challenge; when we tell our colleague that they have what they need to solve a problem or have the skills to handle a tough situation; when we tell our team members that they can figure out how to work together to get things done – all these things can become more true to us and to them. We hear our words and believe our words, and often as important, others hear our words and believe our words.
We can waste so much time sharing gossip and misinformation, focusing on what’s wrong, highlighting our and others’ faults. These words and viewpoints don’t help us. There’s a time to face reality and call things like they are – and also a time to say the words of the truth we want, to help bring that closer. And there’s rarely a time to call someone an idiot. It just can’t help.
What have you been saying that you need to stop saying?
Please leave a comment.
If you enjoyed this post, you can read more like it in our book, The Power of Thoughtful Leadership: 101 Minutes To Being the Leader You Want To Be, available on Amazon.
For support in saying only what you want to become true, contact Robyn at rmcleod@chatsworthconsulting.com.
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