“No one can give you better advice than yourself.”

I sometimes get the feeling that my clients want me to tell them what they should do. I sometimes get the feeling that my friends, or some family members, may want me to tell them what they should do (although I never get the feeling that my fourteen-year-old son wants me to tell him what he should do). I sometimes wish I had someone who could tell me what I should do, when I’m stuck or confused.

But I’ve learned that we all have to, basically, figure it out by ourselves.

I offer my clients my perspective. I ask as many thought-provoking and stimulating questions (otherwise known as “coaching questions“) as I can. I challenge their thinking, help them challenge their assumptions, and call out what I see.

But I don’t know what they “should” do. Even if I think I do, I rarely do.

Because I’m not them, and they are the experts on their life, their work, their relationships, their wants and needs. I may have an opinion – I often do – but as Cicero apparently said, no one can give you better advice then yourself, because no one knows you as well as you (hopefully) know yourself.

In some ways it would be nice if we could turn to others and they could give us the answer. But a large part of Thoughtful Leadership is looking inward for the answers and the learnings, and figuring out what’s really important, what you should do, and what advice you need…from yourself.

How do you turn to yourself for advice?
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For support and thought-provoking questions – but not advice – contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.

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