The Thoughtful Leaders Blog

Tell other people what you want them to think about you

Posted by Lisa Kohn on February 2, 2012

I wish I could say that I thought of this leadership approach myself, but I can’t. One of my clients a few years back shared this with me, and I’ve been passing it on ever since.

It is an adage to live and lead by. So often what we tell others about ourselves is exactly what we wouldn’t want others to think. “I don’t know how I’ll get this done,” we offer. “I’m swamped and don’t know what to tackle next,” we share.
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Lighten up and laugh

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on December 12, 2011


“Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.” Vaclav Havel

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For better vision, look within

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on December 5, 2011
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.” Carl Jung

One of the true gifts of my profession is witnessing clients have an “aha” moment. You see the realization hit them as they recognize a self-defeating pattern they’ve repeated over and over…and then devise a plan to break the pattern, or grasp the negative self-talk that they’ve engaged in for years…and begin to question that self-talk and believe a different truth, or acknowledge the rightness of many of their gut instincts…and begin to trust themselves and their leadership more than they ever have before. There often is a pause in our conversation, a moment when they reflect, a silence as they internalize, and then they emerge from their contemplation with a newfound strength that is palpable. And engaging.
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Hit the pause button

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on November 28, 2011
“Half an hour’s meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is needed.” Francis de Sales

Recently I took a month off from work. I shut off my computer, cleaned up my office, forwarded my phone, let clients know I’d be away for a month, and stopped. My intention was to simply become more of a “human being” rather than a “human doing,” as well as to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom with my son’s last summer before kindergarten.
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4 Responses to “Hit the pause button”

  1. Great point, sometimes we are blocking the forest staring at one tree.

  2. Thanks Lisa, need to remember the important things in life always find a way to get done.

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Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on November 21, 2011
“Be truthful, gentle, and fearless.” Gandhi

When I saw this quote on a card in a store, it resonated with me. It encapsulates how I try to live my life, or at least how I hope I try to live my life. It echoes the truth I have seen in the lives of my clients.
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Get out of your own way

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on October 3, 2011
“Clear your mind of ‘can’t.’” Samuel Johnson

I hear it from my children. I hear it from my clients. I hear it from my family members and friends. I hear it from myself. “I can’t do that.” “It will never work.”
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Are you looking beyond the resentment?

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on June 6, 2011
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela

I woke up this morning full of resentment. I try not to go there – my life’s work is around helping other people live without resentment, so it seems like a good idea if I can have little, or no, resentment in my life. But I was full of it.
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Just say no

Posted by Lisa Kohn on May 26, 2011

I have a client who is in overwhelm. How do I know? She personally told me that she has thousands and thousands of unread emails…that she will never get to. And everyone around her has confidentially told me that my client simply promises too much, overcommits, and just plain old “works too hard.” In essence, she “overpromises” and “underdelivers” – which is the exact opposite of what we coach our clients to do. We strongly suggest that they “underpromise” and “overdeliver” – thereby giving themselves some breathing space and wowing those around them with on-time (and even early) delivery of stellar results.
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Imagine your way to success

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on April 11, 2011
“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.” Dan Zadra

I have a great imagination – and only recently have I learned to use it for something worthwhile. When I was a kid, I could, and did, easily imagine the worst things happening. When my mother came home late I knew she was dead. When other kids in school were laughing, I knew it was at me. When I handed in a paper at school, I knew already that I had failed. I was most often wrong.
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Self-promotion is a good thing

Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on March 14, 2011
“The opportunity to experience yourself differently is always available.” Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

Have you ever noticed how stuck we get in our own perceptions, and especially our perceptions of ourselves? I hear it all the time – “that’s just the way I am,” people will share. “I always go too fast,” (or slow). “I’m never good at those things.” “I can’t do that.”
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