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The Thoughtful Leaders BlogTell other people what you want them to think about you
It is an adage to live and lead by. So often what we tell others about ourselves is exactly what we wouldn’t want others to think. “I don’t know how I’ll get this done,” we offer. “I’m swamped and don’t know what to tackle next,” we share. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyNo pain, no gain?
We have been taught since we were young, “No pain, no gain.” I no longer adhere to that approach. The world is filled with organisms that grow without pain and chaos. People grow, cities grow, businesses grow, flowers grow – all, at times, without chaos and pain. The world shows us that it is entirely possible, and yet when I share this concept with my clients, they find it enlightening. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyIs your certainty getting in your way?
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” Mark Twain
Sometimes I think that nothing gets in our way as much as our certainty. We argue with others incessantly, steadfastly insisting how right we are on a specific topic, even when they have proof as to another answer. We maintain that our view of a situation or a person is the Truth, and simply refuse to consider that others may view things differently. Somehow we’re simply sure, and nothing can convince us otherwise. Related Posts:2 Responses to “Is your certainty getting in your way?”Leave a ReplyAre you heard or understood?
“How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood.” Andrew Grove
How often do you have absolute surety that you’ve clearly, specifically stated what it was you needed to share. That you’ve posed simple questions, offered explicit directions, clarified unambiguous expectations, and communicated everything that you needed to. And that any misunderstanding is therefore completely and totally the fault of the people who simply didn’t hear what you so carefully said. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyStop beating up on yourself, let me do it instead!I have a “hot button” – people beating themselves up. When my coaching clients or others in my life start beating up on themselves, when they sell themselves short or see themselves through cloudy, negative glasses, I have a hard time not overreacting. I call them on it. I point out the truth. I come up with “homework” to help them shift their views. I challenge the fallacy of their perspective. But they keep on beating themselves up. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyHow far have you come?
“I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
As a coach I am graced with being able to watch the movement of my clients. It is truly a blessing and offers great perspective – perspective I might not have if I were only observing my own self and life. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyFive harsh words that changed my life
“Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the while I am being carried across the sky by beautiful clouds.” Ojibway Indian saying
Years and years ago a very good friend of mine helped me enormously. I was talking with him, I suppose endlessly, about a situation I was facing. I was complaining, I suppose also endlessly, about how hard it was and how confused, lost, and hurting I was. My friend had listened to me discuss this same subject many times before, and I guess he realized that I wasn’t moving through the issue. I was stuck. So he turned to me calmly and directly, and said, “Get off your pity-pot.” Related Posts:Leave a ReplyWhat’s the gift in this?
“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.” Richard Bach
As much as I’d sometimes rather complain about my circumstances or the cards I’ve been dealt, I’ve come to realize that each stumbling block and challenge in my life really can be viewed as an opportunity. Each of my darkest moments has brought me something. I look back at some of my bleakest, most difficult times and can now see the gifts that I’ve received. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyIf at first you don’t succeed, stop trying
“A problem can never be solved from the level at which it was created.” Albert Einstein
The other day I was stuck in a problem, and I couldn’t seem to find my way out. I had a client for whom I had to design a new program, and try as I might, I couldn’t fit in everything that “needed” to be included in the day’s agenda. There wasn’t enough time to cover the important things, or enough reflection space between topics for the important things to fully sink in. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyThree good things I learned from my Big Fat Horrible BossIn the new movie, Horrible Bosses, three very frightening managers make life miserable for their employees – lying, abusing, harassing, berating, and manipulating them – so much so that three friends band together to take matters into their own hands and end their misery. Now while I certainly never had a boss with the over-the-top behavior Hollywood created, the premise of the movie did bring to mind my own Horrible Boss experience. Related Posts:2 Responses to “Three good things I learned from my Big Fat Horrible Boss”
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I wish I could say that I thought of this leadership approach myself, but I can’t. One of my clients a few years back shared this with me, and I’ve been passing it on ever since.
View Robyn McLeod's profile
You are certainly correct. I’m sure about this!
Thanks for your comment Sue. I’m certainly glad to hear your thoughts! Lisa