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The Thoughtful Leaders™ BlogAre you truly listening?
The other day I was ‘listening‘ to my colleague. We were in the midst of a heated discussion, and it was her turn to share. I knew how to listen – I teach listening skills after all. I kept my mouth shut and allowed her to speak her piece…biding my time until I could jump in with my retort or, in my mind at least, my incredibly stronger argument. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyYou can laugh more
I can be very intense. Ask anyone who knows me. I can get caught in the seriousness of a situation, the meaning of a moment, the dilemma of a debate. I can work very hard to find value in each encounter and search for the hidden significance under every comment. And it can bog me down. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyIt’s more than the thought that counts
Recently I watched a former colleague struggle with how to show up for her team at work. Her organization had gone through a merger and a few “restructures” – people had been let go and although the team was functioning, it was, in many ways, reeling internally. My colleague was unsure of how to reach out to her team, how to lead them, and what to say…or whether or not it was really necessary to say anything at all. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyAstound yourself
There’s a theme running through nearly all of my coaching relationships right now. Nearly every client is, in some way, owning how spectacular they are – what great leaders, how much they have to contribute, how successfully they can manage their teams, the contributions they’re making at work and in their lives. It’s amazing to witness. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyStop swimming upstream
Just the other day I was about to tear my hair out because of my 3-year old son. All I needed to do was get out the door to run a few errands. And I swear, when I have an agenda, something I need to get done, it’s like he smells it. And he pushes equally hard in the opposite direction. I find myself screaming (at least inside) at him – and then I lose it even more because I know that that’s not the way I want to parent. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyThe upside of falling down
I now enjoy skiing. I used to hate it. I hated it because I fell. And I hated that I fell. I once made my ski instructor fall getting off the lift. He told me he hadn’t fallen off a lift in over ten years. But I took him out. I hated it. I thought I was stupid, inept, uncoordinated, and the third of these might have been true. But I wasn’t stupid, I was learning. I had to learn to let myself learn. Related Posts:2 Responses to “The upside of falling down”Leave a ReplyBe present to today
One of my former colleagues is extremely focused on getting his next promotion. Every time we speak, that is the main topic of conversation. On its face, there is nothing wrong with that, but my sense is that all that matters to him is getting the promotion, not what the new job will be and not what’s happening around him now as he waits. Once he receives the promotion he’ll have to live in that job every day… and we never discuss if it will be a job that he will like, and we certainly never discuss how to make his current job more fulfilling. It’s like the person who is so focused on their big wedding that they forget about the lifelong marriage to follow and miss the daily moments of joy with their beloved. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyLowering expectations for higher success
Years ago I read an article. They asked couples who were married for longer periods of time to share their secrets for success. “Lowered expectations” was the most common response. I can’t say I always like the idea of lowering my expectations. I believe (and teach) that clarifying and sharing mutual expectations is a first step to effectively communicating and working (and living) with others. That being said, there’s something in what the long-time married couples shared, and what Alice Walker’s quote highlights. Related Posts:4 Responses to “Lowering expectations for higher success”
Leave a ReplyChanging direction for the better
We recently had a disagreement with a vendor we hired to help us with our business. Our first impulse was to argue for “our money’s worth” and demand that we get what we had originally contracted for, but we realized that fighting with the vendor would be a negative drain on our energy and our business. We decided instead to view the event as a learning process and to move on and invest our time, energy, and money somewhere else. Some may view this as giving up and giving in, but we knew it was the right move for us. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyDon’t go with the flow
We are often told to go with the flow. To take things in stride. To not let anything upset our apple cart. But what if going with the flow is hurting us? Related Posts:Leave a Reply |
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John Hart 
What a great way to look at setbacks. It’s true. I think the underlying confidence that “reality is a mindset” is what keeps me going. If I want to ski, I have to believe I can, it’s doesn’t have to be easy, or pretty, but I WILL SKI!
Thanks Lynn. I love that – “reality is a mindset.” My skiing is not pretty, and only sometimes (but often not) it’s easy. But I actually like it now! I have to believe I can operate on so many levels and for so many goals and dreams.