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The Thoughtful Leaders™ BlogAstound yourself
There’s a theme running through nearly all of my coaching relationships right now. Nearly every client is, in some way, owning how spectacular they are – what great leaders, how much they have to contribute, how successfully they can manage their teams, the contributions they’re making at work and in their lives. It’s amazing to witness. Related Posts:Leave a ReplyYour strengths can hurt you
Related Posts:Leave a ReplyLowering expectations for higher success
Years ago I read an article. They asked couples who were married for longer periods of time to share their secrets for success. “Lowered expectations” was the most common response. I can’t say I always like the idea of lowering my expectations. I believe (and teach) that clarifying and sharing mutual expectations is a first step to effectively communicating and working (and living) with others. That being said, there’s something in what the long-time married couples shared, and what Alice Walker’s quote highlights. Related Posts:4 Responses to “Lowering expectations for higher success”Leave a ReplyRunning is like leading – 5 key steps towards winning the race
As I kept my legs moving, I reflected back to when I first started running. Or started running this time. I had jogged at times for exercise, mostly in college, and then determined that I hated it. It hurt and I hurt while doing it. And then my daughter became a varsity runner for her high school, and I decided that I wanted to be able to run with her, so I determined to try again. And I did. I started running and it was hard. But I didn’t hate it and I was able to run with her (albeit much slower than her). So I kept going and it became somewhat of a skill. Or at least an exercise choice. Related Posts:2 Responses to “Running is like leading – 5 key steps towards winning the race”
Leave a ReplyWhen thinking makes it so
Related Posts:Leave a ReplyWhy your way of leading isn’t working
There is a leadership fact that I always share with clients. The higher up the food chain you go in an organization, the more your job is not about doing specific tasks. In fact, at times it’s not about “doing” anything. It’s about influencing. Influence is the key to getting things done, getting your ideas across, and honestly, getting ahead. Related Posts:2 Responses to “Why your way of leading isn’t working”
Leave a ReplyThe Zen of giving feedback
Related Posts:2 Responses to “The Zen of giving feedback”
Leave a ReplyWhat you need to know in your first management job – and it can still help you now
Related Posts:Leave a ReplyWhat’s In It For Them?
So often we are asked, “How can I get my people to learn these skills and to do things the way I need them done?” We are brought into organizations to teach management or leadership skills, or various other professional development topics. We are hired by HR professionals, business leaders, division heads, team managers – all with the initial quest to download essential information to their various audiences. Related Posts:Leave a Reply3 reasons you should have a leadership program
Neil Nicoll, President and CEO of YMCA warned us in Finding Leaders for America’s Nonprofits: Commentaries that, “Until [we] become much more intentional about development of internal talent, we are doomed to an ever-growing leadership deficit.” That was three years ago. Related Posts:Leave a Reply |
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I am a big proponent of 360-degree 
I went for a run this morning. It was tough. I’m not sure why. I haven’t been running all that often – I never actually run all that often – but I have been running. But today my three miles were challenging.
stephan 
Recently I was running on one of my favorite trails, maintaining a great pace. There are a few short stairs on the trail and as I approached the first of stairs I said to myself, “Be careful on the stairs and don’t trip. Watch your footing, Robyn.” Of course, you know what happened. I tripped, took a hard fall, and banged up my knee and elbow. “How stupid can you be?” I thought. “I warned you,” said my inner critic. “I said, ‘don’t trip,’ yet that’s exactly what you did!”
Dan Fanok 
Feedback is something we all hate to do. I teach this stuff and yet I sometimes cringe at having to deliver constructive feedback (we consultants and coaches call it “constructive” or “developmental” instead of “negative”), and I can forget to offer positive feedback, appreciation, and praise. But feedback is essential, because without it how can anyone know what they should keep doing because it’s working, and what they should stop doing or change immediately before it causes real problems. The question is, 
First managerial roles can be so exciting and so challenging. Most of us are thrown into jobs managing others because we were really great at doing the job at hand – without any direct reports. Suddenly we are given the management reins and expected to smoothly and effectively lead a team of people to great results and even greater success.
Why is the process of finding a leader–whether to backfill someone or to fill a new role–often treated as an isolated event rather than an ongoing process? With the cost per hire only 
Lisa, this is just too funny. I wrote almost the opposite perspective today. I am adding the link to your post now. That’s what makes this so much fun!
Hi Karin – I saw your post (and loved your post) and thought the same thing. I actually believe both to be true. There are times when I need to lower my expectations so as not to get disappointed when I don’t get certain outcomes I’m perhaps clinging to, and times when I need to raise my expectations so that I get at least that. In my mind, like most things, a balance!
If the goal is to get along with someone with whom you explicitly trust and have no specific requirements for “better”, then of course this attitude is natural and healthy – but if there’s a goal (particularly a goal that’s a stretch) having expectations is important. To me leadership is about establishing meaningful “stretch goals” and holding people to these.
Thanks for your thoughts John. I agree with you – and think (as is often true) a balance is best. Plus the ability to move back and forth between approaches. Leadership is about establishing “stretch goals” and holding (and helping) people to these. And I believe it is also about realizing when the expectations I may hold for someone else may be unrealistic (given their present circumstances), or based on my biases, or setting me up to become frustrated and annoyed. If I enter into these tough emotions, I can no longer best support and hold them to goals, I’m just annoyed. So how do I balance between letting go of expectations that are potentially hurting me, the relationship, and results, and holding to expectations so that people can rise to their best selves. What do you think? I find it fascinating.