The Thoughtful Leaders™ Blog

2 Responses to “Conflict is good – five ways to make it even better!”

1. Transparency, Authenticity & How to Fight Well - the Art of Conflict. says:

   May 7, 2013 at 8:42 am

   [...] Conflict is Good – So Let’s Fight!  Only kidding.  Finally, I ran across an article this morning about how effective teams actually encourage a degree of conflict. They reach higher levels of interaction by letting things flare up a little from time to time. [...]

   Reply
   • Lisa Kohn says:

     May 7, 2013 at 10:50 am

     Thanks Steve. We agree (and teach) that conflict is good and necessary. It often brings out the best ideas and strongest results – when its managed effectively. Thanks for sharing!!

     Reply

4 Responses to “Lowering expectations for higher success”

1. Karin Hurt says:

   March 12, 2013 at 7:11 am

   Lisa, this is just too funny. I wrote almost the opposite perspective today. I am adding the link to your post now. That’s what makes this so much fun!

   Reply
   • Lisa Kohn says:

     March 12, 2013 at 3:38 pm

     Hi Karin – I saw your post (and loved your post) and thought the same thing. I actually believe both to be true. There are times when I need to lower my expectations so as not to get disappointed when I don’t get certain outcomes I’m perhaps clinging to, and times when I need to raise my expectations so that I get at least that. In my mind, like most things, a balance!

     Reply
2. John Hart says:

   March 12, 2013 at 10:02 am

   If the goal is to get along with someone with whom you explicitly trust and have no specific requirements for “better”, then of course this attitude is natural and healthy – but if there’s a goal (particularly a goal that’s a stretch) having expectations is important. To me leadership is about establishing meaningful “stretch goals” and holding people to these.

   Reply
   • Lisa Kohn says:

     March 12, 2013 at 6:49 pm

     Thanks for your thoughts John. I agree with you – and think (as is often true) a balance is best. Plus the ability to move back and forth between approaches. Leadership is about establishing “stretch goals” and holding (and helping) people to these. And I believe it is also about realizing when the expectations I may hold for someone else may be unrealistic (given their present circumstances), or based on my biases, or setting me up to become frustrated and annoyed. If I enter into these tough emotions, I can no longer best support and hold them to goals, I’m just annoyed. So how do I balance between letting go of expectations that are potentially hurting me, the relationship, and results, and holding to expectations so that people can rise to their best selves. What do you think? I find it fascinating.

     Reply

2 Responses to “Why your way of leading isn’t working”

1. Dan Fanok says:

   February 12, 2013 at 5:07 pm

   I my experience, exercising influence (as opposed to exercising authority) involves careful, active listening, a skill often understandably shortchanged by people who are overscheduled and understaffed and who may not feel like they have time to listen vs. issuing directives. This is a common and particularly acute problem for people in organizations experiencing RIFs and other cost reductions which result in increased demands placed on remaining staff. In those circumstances, of course directive managment seems more efficient and often is. But making time to listen, understand and influence will ultimately yield better, more long-lasting results and more motivated colleagues. It’s not easy, but things that make a big difference rarely are. And influence is more versatile than directive management. Directive management usually only goes down the org chart while influence goes up, down and sideways. Plus, ask yourself how much better YOU felt when you have successfully influenced a person, team or situation. My guess is that it was far more rewarding than firing off a few e-mails issuing instructions.

   Reply
   • Lisa Kohn says:

     February 13, 2013 at 9:23 am

     Thanks for your thoughts Dan. It is so true that when we are pressed for time, even if only in our own minds, we’re more likely to exercise authority just to “get things done.” Thanks for calling this out as a reminder. I suppose when we are pressed for time is the exact moment that we need to listen, include, and influence!

     Reply

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