The Thoughtful Leaders Blog
Posted by Lisa Kohn on February 2, 2012
 I wish I could say that I thought of this leadership approach myself, but I can’t. One of my clients a few years back shared this with me, and I’ve been passing it on ever since.
It is an adage to live and lead by. So often what we tell others about ourselves is exactly what we wouldn’t want others to think. “I don’t know how I’ll get this done,” we offer. “I’m swamped and don’t know what to tackle next,” we share.
Or we make self-deprecating jokes about the things that most worry us about ourselves. “I’m so new here I’m still not sure what is going on,” one of my clients has pronounced, feeling, perhaps understandably, uncomfortable with his newness in an industry. “I got through that one by the skin of my teeth,” another has been known to announce. We announce these things so often that we come to believe them – so much so that they become self-fulfilling and self-limiting. One of our blog posts from last year, Self promotion is a good thing, focused on this issue. It offers you even more reasons to stop saying things about ourselves we don’t want to be true.
What we ought to do is the opposite – present ourselves in a positive light. If that seems difficult to do, perhaps pretend it’s “opposite day” like on SpongeBob, and condition yourself to think one thing and then turn it around before you say it out loud. Instead of “I don’t know how I’ll get this done,” how about “I have a plan in mind for getting all of this done?” Rather than “I got through that one by the skin of my teeth,” how about “That was quite a challenge and I’m glad it worked out so well” instead? After all, we want our colleagues (and competitors) to see us as under control, thoughtful, intelligent, knowing what we’re doing…the list goes on. And in order for them (and actually, for us) to see ourselves that way, that is the description we need to share.
I’m not suggesting we go through our lives and our work bragging, I just think we should all be careful what we announce to the world about ourselves, because what we put out there is how we’re viewed, how we’re treated, and what we get back.
What do you think?
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Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on January 30, 2012
“Doing more of what doesn’t work won’t make it work any better.” Charles J. Givens
This quote made me laugh. It’s so true. Yet somehow we seem to forget and we continue to operate on the belief that if we just try harder, even if it’s not working, we’ll somehow figure it out and push things through.
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Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on January 2, 2012
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” Mark Twain
Sometimes I think that nothing gets in our way as much as our certainty. We argue with others incessantly, steadfastly insisting how right we are on a specific topic, even when they have proof as to another answer. We maintain that our view of a situation or a person is the Truth, and simply refuse to consider that others may view things differently. Somehow we’re simply sure, and nothing can convince us otherwise.
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Posted by Robyn McLeod on December 29, 2011
The New Year is a time of reflection on the past and hope for the future for many of us. As we look back on 2011, all of us at Chatsworth Consulting Group are grateful for all of the wonderful new people that have crossed our paths this year, the new ideas that have been shared with us, and the new experiences that we have had.
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Posted by Lisa Kohn on December 22, 2011
How can a stomach virus possibly be a good thing? How can it yield inspiration for a thoughtful leadership lesson? Am I being too “Pollyanna-ish” – looking for the good in situations and circumstances that truly only stink?
With nothing much to do yesterday but recuperate from the stomach bug that knocked me out two days ago, I had time to contemplate this…endlessly. Those who know me know that I always, or almost always, look for good in everything and everyone I can. Perhaps, some might say, to a fault. So as I lay in bed yesterday with nothing much to do because I didn’t have the strength yet to be productive, I thought this through.
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Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on December 19, 2011
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” Lewis Carroll
Our imagination is usually expansive and unstoppable when we’re young, and then, bit by bit, it lessens and sometimes even dies. And then corporations pay consultants, such as us, to teach their employees “innovative thinking and problem solving” or “creativity.”
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Posted by Chatsworth Consulting Group on December 12, 2011
“Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.” Vaclav Havel
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Posted by Lisa Kohn on December 8, 2011
Wow. That’s all I have to say. Someone I care about was kind enough to forward this TED video to me, and I have to share it with everyone I know. It’s just under 10 minutes long, and I promise you, it will be an absolutely inspiring 10 minutes – and so worth your time.
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Posted by Lisa Kohn on November 24, 2011
Why is it that Thanksgiving is only one day? Why is it that thankfulness and appreciation are so seemingly difficult for so many of us? Why is it that each year, when I used to make the family go around the table and share one thing they were thankful for, they all rolled their eyes? Why is it that we’re reluctant to include gratitude and appreciation in our daily lives…when it gives us so much? When research has shown that finding time to be thankful has been linked to better health, less anxiety, and longer-term satisfaction with life. When research has also shown that truly appreciating others, and thanking them out loud, yields more productive and enjoyable relationships, at work and at home.
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Posted by Robyn McLeod on November 17, 2011
 Recently as part of a coaching program I have been focusing my clients on values. After taking a quick values assessment, clients consider how those values that are most important to them have shaped their lives, their choices, and their beliefs. As part of the process they write a brief “Who Am I” story that illustrates a time in their lives when a key value was illuminated, taught to them, stepped on, or not fully honored. We all have many of these “Who Am I” stories to tell – many moments, be they big or small, work-related or personal, funny or touching, where our values come front and center to remind us of who we are and what is important to us.
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View Robyn McLeod's profile
You are certainly correct. I’m sure about this!
Thanks for your comment Sue. I’m certainly glad to hear your thoughts! Lisa