Often it is the voices within us that stop us from trying and achieving what we really want. Somehow we’ve learned to censor our actions and even our desires. Perhaps it is a safety mechanism that we needed at one time, but that no longer serves us.
Many times my clients share their dreams and goals with me, and then in the same breath, they share why those things that they truly want for themselves are unattainable. With this surety of failure, they rationalize that they shouldn’t even try for their goals, or waste their time on useless endeavors. I have been privileged to witness the opposite. I’ve watched many clients break through their preconceived notions of what they “can’t” or “shouldn’t” do…break through to success. Sometimes it’s just the success of challenging their self-inflicted limitations, and often it’s the success of achieving (or allowing) that which they’ve always wanted.
When Van Gogh was alive, there were many people who said he could not paint. My guess is that there were also internal voices that echoed those sentiments. Imagine our loss if he had listened to those voices – if he had not challenged himself and others and created his masterpieces.
When my clients tell me of something they can’t do, I challenge them to challenge themselves, and I dare them to do it anyway. “Just do it,” I share (to quote Nike). “What’s the worst that can happen if you do it?” I ask. “What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t?” With these questions in mind they often simply laugh at their voices of limitation, and jump in.
What’s the worst thing that can happen if you try to do that thing you don’t think you can do? What’s the worst thing that can happen if you don’t? Click here to share.
Listen for the voices in your head that tell you you can’t do something that you long to do – and then do that thing and see what happens.
For support in challenging yourself to break through, contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.
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Recently on the way home from school my daughter recounted an incident where a classmate hit another student, and then said that it was a reflex to having her hair touched. My daughter shared that this “reflex” was out of her classmate’s control and an unfortunate consequence for the hair-touching culprit. “That is a reaction,” I said. “Not a reflex. A reflex is an automatic impulse that we do not have control over, like kicking your leg when your knee is tapped in just the right way. Hitting someone because they touched your hair is a reaction. A reaction that you in fact have complete control over.”
Why is “no” such a difficult thing to say? We’re great at it when we’re two. “No” seems to be our favorite word at that age (at least it was for my kids). But somewhere along the line we forget that ability; we forget the word. Someone asks us to do something that we long to say “no” to, and yet, perhaps out of guilt or fear or shame, or perhaps out of more positive motivations like compassion and caring, we find ourselves saying “yes.” Agreeing to what we knew we didn’t want to do. So many of us forget how to say “no,” or think we can’t, or know we shouldn’t, or know we 
I am a big proponent of 360-degree 
Lynn DiBonaventura 
I’ve spent the last week catching up with old friends. Friends from high school, college, and my job in advertising too many years ago. So I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about how lucky I am to have had, and have now, these people in my life – even the ones I don’t talk with often enough.
As parents we can be very focused on teaching our children manners and appropriate behaviors – choosing the right words, using our “inside” voices, sharing, being kind to others. But somewhere along the way we forget that those very behaviors we are instilling in our children are ones that we should remember for ourselves.
I went for a run this morning. It was tough. I’m not sure why. I haven’t been running all that often – I never actually run all that often – but I have been running. But today my three miles were challenging.
stephan 
Sometimes things don’t go quite the way you would like and you feel the need to strike out at the one’s you feel could help but won’t. That is especially a good time to shut up. Thanks, I was there before I read your post.
Dwight – great job at shutting up when you most needed to! Glad our post could help.