“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
~Winston Churchill
I’m not certain if our fear of failure is more nature or nurture. If we’re hardwired that way or if we’ve been socialized to fear what feels like falling on our face in front of others.
But I’m certain that our fear of failing keeps us from trying. And if your definition of success means never failing on the way, that probably keeps you from trying even more.
How might things shift if we really believed and knew that success includes failing in order to learn? That, as I heard one client say decades ago, “We will make every mistake once.” From that perspective, we know that making mistakes helps us improve our processes and outcomes.
How might things shift if we welcomed failing rather than avoiding it? If we dove in, aiming to do our best and knowing that there might be a few mistakes along the way? If we gave ourselves, and others, the grace to have an “oops” as new plans were made, new ideas were tested, and new relationships were built?
The rejection of failing seems akin to the belief in perfectionism. I am such a recovering perfectionist that my brother once told me that I tried to do “not perfect” perfectly. He was right at the time. However, I have come to learn and realize that there is no such thing as perfection, just as there is no such thing as success without a few potential failures along the way. Believing in either of these false premises sets us up to… well, fail.
What would it be like if we could go from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm and see that as a measure of success in and of itself? If we could keep trying, even though things got hard or we made a few mistakes? If we could just keep going?
I think things might be a wee bit better and we’d have a few more successes.
How have you learned to embrace failing and learning?
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To learn how to fail well, with a purpose, contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.
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