“Out beyond our ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is a field, I’ll meet you there.”~Rumi
My country seems divided between right and wrong, although each side thinks it’s right and therefore the other side is wrong. Everyone surely can’t be right about that.
My clients seem to be facing off against their colleagues more and more. “Why would anyone do that?” they ask me. “How can they be so shortsighted, ignorant, uncaring?” – the list goes on.
I think Rumi had the right idea. I think now, more than ever, we have to find the field that’s out beyond what you or I think is right and/or wrong, and meet there. And stay there until we find a way to be and work (and lead) together, even if we see things differently.
Sometimes I’m able to see how stuck I get in my own perspective, and sometimes I’m not. It’s easier with some people than others, and on some topics than others. But when I’m at my best – and when I’m leading at my best – I find the way to get there, even when it’s more difficult to do so. But how?
- I remind myself that I’m not always right, especially when I think I am. Especially if I’m passionate or intense about the subject at hand.
- I remind myself to pull back and look for other interpretations, and to ask questions with an openness to learn.
- I remind myself that often what’s most important is to keep or build the relationship, rather than win the fight.
- I forgive myself when I do all this poorly.
I’m looking for the field where we can all meet and agree to agree and to disagree, but most importantly agree to figure it out together. This field will help us lead – and thrive – more successfully at work, at home, and in life.
How have you found the field beyond “right” and “wrong” – and how has it helped you?
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