Nov
14
 

The lies we tell ourselves

The lies we tell ourselves

There are lies we tell ourselves that get in our way. They get in our way; they get in the way of our connecting with others; and they get in others’ ways as well. And we’re usually not aware that we’re telling ourselves these lies.

In order to lead more effectively – to lead our organizations, our teams, our families, and ourselves – we need to become aware. And we need to call these lies out. And, as usual, Seth Godin, calls them out spectacularly.

He says:

The first lie…

is that you’re going to need far more talent than you were born with.

The second lie is that the people who are leading in the new connection economy got there because they have something you don’t.

The third lie is that you have to be chosen.

The fourth lie is that we’re not afraid.

We’re afraid.

Afraid to lead, to make a ruckus, to convene. Afraid to be vulnerable, to be called out, to be seen as a fraud.

The connection economy isn’t based on steel or rails or buildings. It’s built on trust and hope and passion.

The future belongs to those that care and those that believe.

But calling the lies out is not enough all by itself. We must push ourselves through them – to build trust and hope and passion, as Seth suggests. To remind ourselves to always care and believe, and to act as if we care and believe. So how do we do that?

I do it by being more mindful, more thoughtful. By stopping myself, often in the middle of an action or a sentence, and reminding myself of my big picture. And by asking myself a few simple, yet not so simple, questions:

  • How do I want to connect with others?
  • With whom do I want to connect?
  • What do I want in the situation at hand?
  • What would be best?
  • How can I build trust, hope, and passion in myself? In others?
  • How can I continue to care and believe? And how would I act if I cared and believed? What would I say? What would I do?

These are the questions that work for me, and it’s sometimes a minute-by-minute endeavor to ask them…and even harder to answer them. But that’s what it takes to call out my lies. And to be the leader, and person, that I want to be.

How do you call out your lies? What questions, and actions, work for you?
Please leave a comment.

For support in calling out your lies, contact Lisa at lkohn@chatsworthconsulting.com.

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